What makes someone come home from a first date and tell their friends, “Wow, my date was amazing! I had such a wonderful time talking with this guy/girl and am so excited to see them again.” While it might have been the sexy outfit they had on or maybe even their cologne, it most likely something more than that. The aspects that make a date so memorable are often found in the mental more than the physical connections.
Be a True Optimist: Think positively when you go out on a first date. As the old cliche goes, see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Ignore the fact that you prefer to date men that are 5’10” or taller when this guy is only 5’9″. Try not to judge someone when you first meet them, as tempting as it is. Try not to pay attention to the fact that she has blonde hair when you really prefer brunettes. She could turn out to be one of the most amazing people you’ve met in a long time.
Be an Attentive Listener: On a date, a skilled listener knows how to keep the conversation flowing with a healthy mix of give and take. Focus on asking the other person questions, and you’ll learn more about them. If you allow your date to really open up and tell you about whom they are, what their dreams are etc; it’s highly likely that they’ll reciprocate. When the time comes for them to find out all about you, you’ll be ready and willing to answer any questions that they might ask you. Keep the conversations flowing back and forth.
Be Flexible: When it comes to a first date, it can be very difficult to agree on where to go and what to do. If the other person organized everything for the both of you and spent their time making all the arrangements, be as flexible as you can. So you don’t really love Indian food, and they booked an 8 pm reservation at India House. Do you change the reservations at the last minute? It’s probably not wise to say something in the case of a first date. Surely there must be something simple on the menu that you could be satisfied eating. Be appreciative that your date set it all up and flow with it. You might even end up finding that you love India House’s curry chicken after all.
Be Yourself: This maybe the most important of all steps. If you’re not being yourself on a first date, you are truly doing a disservice to the other person. They agreed to go out with you because there was something there that got them intrigued about you. If you seemed hilarious on the phone, but on the date you are all awkward and serious, that’s not a real reflection of who you are. If you think of yourself as a goofy and playful person, don’t cover up that side of yourself from your date. Be yourself and let your true goofiness and playfulness come out. If it turns out that your date isn’t interested in that side of you, then you don’t want a person like that anyways and move on.
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